Food Allergy and Your Kiddo
If you are a parent of a food allergy kid, then this is the podcast for you! Join food allergy experts - board-certified allergist Dr. Alice Hoyt, MD, FAAAAI, and food allergy mama Pam Lestage, MBA - as they dive into all things food allergy. Hear interviews with world-renown allergists as well as food allergy advocates and food allergy families, just like yours. This podcast will answer many of your food allergy questions and provide you with strategies to make your life and your family's life ones of LESS STRESS and MORE JOY.
Food Allergy and Your Kiddo
5 Plans All New Food Allergy Moms Must Have
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Receiving a food allergy diagnosis for your child can feel like the world has suddenly shifted beneath your feet. What was once a simple trip to the grocery store now involves scrutinizing labels, and family gatherings transform into potential hazard zones. But here's the truth: with the right plans in place, you can navigate this journey with confidence rather than fear.
In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Alice Hoyt welcomes back co-host Pam Lestage to share five essential plans every mother new to food allergies needs. Drawing from both medical expertise and lived experience as food allergy moms, they offer a framework that puts you into the driver's seat of your child's food allergies.
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This podcast is the official podcast of the Hoyt Institute of Food Allergy. Information on, within, and associated with this site and Food Allergy and Your Kiddo is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice.
Hello and welcome to the Food Allergy and your Kiddo Show. I am your host, Dr Alice Hoyt, along with my amazing co-host, Ms Pam Lestage. Hello, Pam.
Speaker 2:Hello Dr Hoyt, how are you?
Speaker 1:How are you? It's kind of funny because you don't usually call me Alice anyway.
Speaker 2:I don't, and it's been a minute since I've been on the podcast so I, like I forgot to switch off Welcome back.
Speaker 1:Yes, and you don't call me Alice, you don't call me Dr Hoyt, but you call me by my high school nickname, which is AJ. So, anyway, though, enough about our tangent number one. But today I'm really excited about our show today and I'm really excited that you're joining me for it, because the time we're recording this, it's coming up towards Mother's Day. It's also coming up towards Food Allergy Awareness Week, so I really wanted to do an episode where we could talk about our top five plans for moms who are new to the food allergy world. So moms who have kiddos who were recently diagnosed, little babies, older kids, whatever the case may be. But really, if you're a mama and you are new to this world of food allergy, this episode is absolutely for you.
Speaker 1:And also moms and dads, right, but we're going to be specifically talking to moms today. We're both moms, but even if you've been in the food allergy space for a while, these plans, it's going to be important just to make sure that you have them in place. What do you think, pam? Yeah, I think it's always good, important just to make sure that you have them in place. What do you think, pam?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's always good, especially the longer you get into your food allergy journey, to reevaluate your plans and just make sure that everyone's on board, because I think that the longer you're on it, the easier it is to sort of kind of step back Not step back, but just it's not in the forefront of your mind all the time, as it is whenever you're a brand new food allergy parent and it's always important to just sort of refresh those.
Speaker 2:But as a new parent, a new caregiver, a new sibling, it's always important to just have a plan in place, because I think that when we have a plan in place then all of the stressors are easier to compile into one little box and we can handle them. And we'll touch base on that later, but it's just important.
Speaker 1:I totally agree with you and I think you know, the longer I am a mom, the more I appreciate having plans for things. Plans can change right, we have to be flexible, but just having a plan, having a strategy for how we're going to approach something, is just makes it more doable.
Speaker 2:Makes it more doable and I think when you're dealing with little kiddos, kids need structure and kids need plan and everybody's family looks different and the way that we structure our family may not be the way that you structure your family, which is totally okay, but there needs to be a little bit of cohesiveness among the group for everything to just sort of work and be a happier journey than a scary journey.
Speaker 1:Less stress, more joy.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That is the slogan of my practice right Less stress and more joy. I love it. Okay, so we're going to go through this list and it's our top five, but before we came on recording, we were already talking about how we'll go through these in an order. They're not really in an order of priority, because they're all important and that's what we were kind of like going back and forth. Well, this one here, this one, they're all important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're all important and, again, every family is different, and so how you structure these five tips will look different, but some of them too can kind of and you'll see as we start talking can all be kind of done at once or around the same time, and so it really is just. These are the first five things that we recommend you tamp down before you really start that food allergy journey or well, you're starting it already, but before it kind of starts moving along.
Speaker 1:Right, no, totally. And if you get these plans in place, then I feel like you will be more in the driver's seat than allowing the food allergy to kind of dictate things, because you'll have less surprises, because you will have planned for these things. Yeah, so we're going to go order like five, five, four, three. Two, one, one, two, three, four, five.
Speaker 2:I don't know, we're just going to say they're five of them.
Speaker 1:They're five of them. The first one is to have a plan for what to do if your child has another reaction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is that's like the first thing. This, this one. We will say it's the first thing you should do. On you know how the allergic reaction goes right. Like some people have an allergic reaction and they see, they realize that. For instance, here's our first allergic reaction.
Speaker 2:I gave my child peanut butter. I noticed she started getting hives. Um, this was 12 years ago. I noticed she started getting hives. This was 12 years ago, 13 years ago. Back then it was give Benadryl a watch, right? That's not what we did, we epi, right, that's not what we did, but that's what we did back then. And so I recognized that it was some sort of weird reaction. I gave her some Benadryl. My dad happens to be a physician. I took her to his office. She sat down, we watched her for a little while. We went on our way. We were recommended to go to an allergist. That is not necessarily how it always happens. Sometimes your first reaction will send you straight to the ER, and so whether you're dealing with your first reaction at home, you're dealing with it at school, you're dealing with it at the ER. The first thing you need to do, once you get that clearance that your kid is okay, is what do I do next time?
Speaker 1:A million percent. If your kiddo goes to the ER with a situation like what Pam described, that's an anaphylactic or IgE-mediated food allergy and that should be treated with epinephrine. Of course, if you're having a reaction for the first time, you might not have epinephrine right. Most people don't have epinephrine hanging around right, and so you want to seek medical advice promptly. So you want to seek medical advice promptly and before you leave that emergency room and this is something we're doing I have my allergist hat on, which I guess I'm always wearing my allergist hat here on the podcast, but, like I guess my allergy like medical educator hat is more of what I should specifically say to my colleagues who are not allergists. There we go.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm intending to say is we need to do more continuing education for non-allergists to provide proper guidance after an anaphylactic reaction, because sometimes we find that even though it's 2025, right now, sometimes ERs still are not prescribing an epinephrine autoinjector after what clearly is in the paperwork is diagnosed as an allergic reaction, and so that's some work we need to do. But it's important as a mom that you have a clear plan for what to do in case your child were to have another reaction and also how to prevent another reaction. And so, like in Pam's case, like she, she could pretty clearly see that or tell me if I'm wrong. But it seemed like you could pretty clearly see like you had just given her peanut as kind of a new food, I think and she started having a reaction to the food you had given her. So you knew, okay, well, I'm not going to give her peanuts.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, until an allergist tells me it's okay. Yeah, and it was. You know, I think, as a new mom and I mean I was a new mom a long time ago, so I don't know what it's like to be a new mom now. But you know, back then oh gosh, I'm about to age myself but we didn't really use Google or, you know, the internet to figure those things out. We bought books and, um, I'm not that old guys, but like you know, like it's just, it's kind of what it was.
Speaker 2:And so we had all the books like what to do, and the book said you know, these are the signs that you look for in case of a reaction. You give one foot, you know all of all of those things. And a lot of those recommendations have changed. And when I had my daughter it was still you wait till a certain age and you get and watch, and that's kind of what I did and I think, you know, mommy, intuition kind of comes into. I'm a firm believer that your gut is constantly telling you stuff and it was a gut feeling.
Speaker 2:I was very and very blessed that I have medical people around me, and so I did not go to the allergist right away, because it wasn't necessarily recommended to me at that point. We were told to go, you know, a year later. But now, obviously, knowing what I know, that's what would have been my first call. It would have been an allergist, but I knew that she couldn't have it anymore. I need to have an EpiPen. I knew what to watch for, and so I was lucky in that way. And so if you leave the ER and you're not getting that feedback, or if you leave your pediatrician and maybe they haven't met a doctor employee that's been able to sort of provide that continuing education, then it's your job, as you know, as the parent, to try to find that, to keep your child as safe as possible, and I think we do that as parents anyway. I think that we try to find all the ways to be able to make our child as safe as possible. So it's just sort of in a different way, a different structure.
Speaker 1:Now I'm totally with you on that and you know we're seeing more FPI's food protein induced enterocolitis syndrome, which is um profuse vomiting one to four ish hours after ingesting the food. And it's much more common in in babies than in older kiddos and it can happen not necessarily the first time they eat the food, sometimes even the first time. Um same with anaphylactic food allergies. Sometimes it's the first time, sometimes it's not the first time. There's no magical number also for when a food is safe. Basically if a kid's had a food a few times and has tolerated it, then we think it's usually pretty safe. Rarely do we see anaphylactic food allergies present like that where someone's had peanut butter multiple times and then all of a sudden, especially in kids, where they can't eat it. But that's also why we say early incorporation of allergens, not just early introduction but early incorporation, especially in high-risk kiddos. Kiddos who have already have a food allergy or have severe eczema should start trying these allergens peanut as early as three to four months, in age-appropriate forms of course, but then keep it in the diet to teach the immune system to tolerate it. Early introduction is like a whole nother podcast episode.
Speaker 1:But this also brings me back to our list, which the next thing on our list is to see an allergist.
Speaker 1:And so I'm so interested, pam, because you said something I think our listeners are probably wondering like you weren't advised to see an allergist until the next year, and I've definitely had patients present to me who have said, oh well, such and such doctor was an ER doctor or pediatrician, said, like usually an ER doctor not so much pediatricians but said, oh well, you don't even need to go to the allergist until they're two because they won't do any testing until they're two anyway, which is inaccurate.
Speaker 1:But I will also say that allergists and more than lab orderers 95, 99% of me making a diagnosis and a correct diagnosis is the history, is putting down and talking with the family, and that is the best way for me to determine what is safe for your child and what is not safe for your child, so that, ultimately, when a family is leaving my office, they know what is safe, what is safe for your child and what is not safe for your child, so that, ultimately, when a family is leaving my office, they know what is safe, what is not safe, or we make a plan by which we're going to tease that out. But I wonder, pam, from your experience back then about not seeing the allergist until the next year, kind of like, would you mind elaborating a little bit more on how that happened and what you would do if that, if, if that were the case today?
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, sure. So we went to the pediatrician right away. It happened close to her two year birthday, so we were already going to the pediatrician and you mentioned it to her and she said oh well, and, mind you, we don't see this pediatrician anymore, but not because of this, but we have a wonderful pediatrician. Just in case she happens to listen to this, it's not you.
Speaker 1:You're such a nice person, Pam.
Speaker 2:We love our pediatrician. Now the time basically said oh well, it sounds like she had an allergic reaction. Here's a prescription for an EpiPen. Go fill it. Don't give her any peanuts. Come back for her next appointment and at that point we will do a food challenge. And I said okay. Again, the pediatrician said this yeah, wow.
Speaker 1:And I'm sure I'm saying wow, because usually pediatricians don't do food challenges number one but number two. You know, back in the day, back at that time of diagnosis, that management plan was perfectly respectable. Today you have your treatments for food allergies, so that would not be the best, but it's not super far off. Yeah, interesting, she was planning, or he was planning, to do a food challenge, though.
Speaker 2:Yes, but we'll get to that in a sec. So basically, she just said here's your epi don't give her peanuts. She didn't give any guidance. She didn't say what to watch out for. Don't give her peanuts. She didn't give any guidance. She didn't say what to watch out for. She didn't um, you know, say this is how you avoid it. So all of the education that I got was me figuring it out. You know, it was me researching me, um, talking to you who I think you were starting your residence being your fellowship.
Speaker 1:It was very. I wasn't an allergist.
Speaker 2:So this was just me talking to my best friend, who happened to be in my school situation. My dad, obviously, is a doctor, so that's how I got my information. So the next year when she's turning three, I call the office We've had a great year and I said, hey, we're ready to schedule that food challenge and she said, oh well, we can't do that here, that's dangerous. Here's the allergist information.
Speaker 1:What every mom wants to hear, right.
Speaker 2:And so I think at that point it really hit me that this was more than just, oh, we should avoid the food, because I was not really educated by her as to like, like, we didn't have an emergency action plan, none of that, anyway. And so at that point, when that happened, my final red flag went up and I was like this is not the care my child needs. And so, luckily, I was able to get a recommendation for a wonderful allergist and we went to see him, and that's when we did all the testing the skin, the blood, the education that we needed.
Speaker 2:And at that appointment, I mean I still remember driving home like in tears with her in the back, because it made it real, you know, I think seeing her makes it real and I think the sooner it made it real, you know, I think seeing your health makes it real and I think the sooner, the sooner it can become real and you know what you're trying to tackle, the better. And so, looking back when it happens, whether it's the ER or your pediatrician or your family, you know, physician, even if they don't recommend seeing an allergist, go see an allergist. Go see an allergist because you will leave that appointment overwhelmed. But you, you should be armed with the tools on how to keep your child safe, um, what to avoid. You know all of the things, all of the things that you talk about, that we've talked about on this podcast.
Speaker 2:Again, I think my experience is unique because I am surrounded by so many medical people that I was able to not necessarily need that valid not the validation but need the extra from the allergist in terms of what I was getting into. But having a clear diagnosis from him was really what put my food allergy hat on, made me sort of the silent advocate and sometimes the loud advocate that I became for my kid and I think that's a fantastic advocate, and you're so research-minded anyway that you were, and you're good at finding good sources too.
Speaker 1:So I mean you've done a fantastic job.
Speaker 2:It is to say that until I saw the allergist, my sources were things like Facebook groups, because that was sort of the only social media that we had at the time. And you know, mommy, blogs and sometimes and we've talked about this so many times on the blog social media can be a great tool. It also be a really scary tool, because sometimes your own fears are reflected in what you're trying to share and then it can kind of turn into this fear-mongering situation and so again get your information in front of a food allergist instead of the internet, which was, you know, which is kind of what I did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and your allergist can also tell you some good, good resources, lived experiences You're absolutely right From Facebook groups and hearing other people's experiences, what you're sharing, lived experiences are so important. They can absolutely help us as moms. Right, and just kind of hearing it of what's been your experience you know that's always just like can be very helpful. But when it starts going into like the sensationalization and fear mongering, that's when we need to reel it back in.
Speaker 1:And if you're listening to this and you've heard some like scary stuff about food allergy and you're wondering, oh my gosh, is that going to happen with my kid or whatever, the first thing you need to do is either call and schedule a followup with your allergist or send them a message or or something. That's where you want to get your personalized, evidence-based information from, specifically about your child. So seeing an allergist is so critical and a lot of people don't really know to see an allergist. And see an allergist. As soon as you're given a preliminary diagnosis whether it's the ER or a pediatrician or just you're seeing your child have some sort of reaction you want your child to be evaluated by a healthcare professional, a doctor, immediately. But you also your next step, once your child is safe is to get in with an allergist.
Speaker 2:And continue seeing them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially now, especially now there are so many treatment plans available, different strategies, different whether it's oral immunotherapy, sublingual immunotherapy, omelizumab their avoidance is still, absolutely still, a good treatment option. But being able to have those discussions with an allergist who literally has done so much training to be able to take care of your child, that's who you want to get this information from. Which brings us to the next number three on the list is have a plan for testing. So, whether it's skin prick testing, blood testing, ingestion challenge, just like Pam, you thought you had a plan and then you're like, wait, I'm not the plan. Okay.
Speaker 1:I find that when I work with families and we sort of map out what's going to happen next, we give them the plan, I give them the anticipatory guidance. Then we are all working towards that common goal together and there's no like oh, what's going to happen next? I don't know. There's no. I mean, I hate that feeling when I have a doctor situation and I'm like, oh well, what are we going to do next? Like I I try very hard to make that never happen, but sometimes, like you're just in these appointments and you know, maybe you don't have your list. Always write down your list of questions. Oh my gosh, you know, and make sure, like you have that paper list out paper not just like pulled up on your phone, but like paper, because it's just so easy to turn the paper around and show it to the doctor so that they know what your questions are and then they can make sure you get them answered.
Speaker 1:But with the testing skin prick testing, blood testing, ingestion challenge you get them answered. But with the testing skin prick testing, blood testing, ingestion challenge whatever the case may be, having a plan like, let's say, your child is allergic to peanut and y'all are not in the season of life to do oral immunotherapy or subliminal immunotherapy, and you're like you know what? I just want to maybe wait. Can we just wait a few months or six months or a year and see what's going on? Then your plan would be to retest in a year. We don't want to retest if we're not going to do anything with that information. Really, like you don't want to just test, to test. You want to have a plan like, okay, you're doing the test and then, if it's this number or if it's this result, you're going to do this. If it's this result, you're going to do this. How do you feel about testing Pam and having a plan for testing? How do?
Speaker 2:you feel about testing Pam and having a plan for testing? I think as a mom, you know, early on I wanted but again, this was a long time ago. I wanted to see the numbers because I like to see things happening and I like to have the information. But then I quickly realized that A it's traumatic for your kid to constantly be testing and we weren't constantly testing her, but you know it was going to the allergist and just being told she's still allergic.
Speaker 2:And then kind of walking out with a new epi prescription at the time. Just I don't know, I just I wanted something. I wanted something From objective data.
Speaker 1:We like objective data and so, yes, if you have a child with an anaphylactic or IgE-mediated food allergy, there's lab tests, there's skin prick testing. If you have a child with FPIES, there's not any testing, it's all clinical history and you're like, okay, well, they just had a reaction. So we're going to wait, at least a year likely to re-challenge. Or maybe, if it's egg or milk, then we'll try some baked products to try to do some sort of modified ladder for FPI's. Again, this is stuff you're discussing with your allergist. I'm an allergist but I'm not your allergist. So talk to your allergist about what we're discussing.
Speaker 1:One, one more, one more, because our EOE moms who are listening eosinophilic esophagitis, that's one we're having. The management plan, the testing plan, can be kind of like wait when are we going to re-scope? Because with EOE, the only way to get that diagnosis, unfortunately right now is to do an endoscopy and have tiny biopsies in multiple locations of the esophagus. Eoe is basically eczema of the esophagus and the way we diagnose it is with an endoscopy where a GI doctor goes down in the esophagus, your kiddo is asleep under an anesthesiologist's care and does tiny, tiny little biopsies and we're looking for these types of allergy cells called eosinophils in the esophagus. Eosinophils should never be in the esophagus and so we're looking for a certain number of them and then, if they're there, then we're considering this diagnosis of EOE.
Speaker 1:And then we do some things. Do we do this medication or do this diet plan? And then when do we re-scope? And that is always the question when do we repeat the endoscopy? Because, as painful and I'm a mom of a five-year-old and a two-year-old and labs are a total bummer, right no one likes getting their kiddos' labs done, or a lot of kiddos don't like skin part testing, right but like having to do a sedated procedure. I mean that, you know, like having a plan for these tests helps, helps us as moms walk the road. I would say I'm sorry I interrupted you.
Speaker 2:Maybe you interrupted me or maybe we were just we just interrupted each other, but I will say, just bringing it back to how I feel about testing and having a plan, is, the more I learned and the more this, the world of allergy changed, the more I realized that the numbers, the numbers, are telling me something right, but like they're not giving me the whole picture. And and because we were very happy with avoidance, um, um, oit was fairly new not fairly new, but it wasn't being done the way it's being done now. Um, it just wasn't in the cards for us and we, so we were happy to just go to our allergist and and have that conversation with him and and he would say you know, we're just not going to retest this year, we're, you know we'll, we'll see what the landscape looks like next year, and so, okay. So that's what we did. And he reminded us of all of our things, gave us new emergency action plans, any new data. You know he would relay that information to us, and so I do think that, again, it's important to go yearly to your allergist.
Speaker 2:At one point we were going every nine months. I don't know why. That's just the way it was happening. I don't necessarily think that was them, I think it was just my scheduling. And so now, the older she gets, you know, when discussions started happening about do we want to proceed with any of these new therapies, we tested again and we saw, and we saw that numbers kind of still look the same.
Speaker 2:And so to me at the beginning it was more about how much information I can get.
Speaker 2:But again, remember, the answer then was still not what it is now. I think new allergy moms now just just need to have a plan in place, and that doesn't necessarily mean doing new labs all the time or doing new testing all the time, but when appropriate. And even that to me, not as a new allergy mom just in the last five years the landscape has changed so much that every time I went into the allergist I was excited to see how he felt about the new things. And then, you know, listen to the podcast or do my own research and kind of see what you had to say or what others had to say, and then take all of that information and make a plan based on that. And it's been pretty empowering, I would say, to just sort of get all of that from him, from you, from you know the world of evidence-based allergy information and it just almost kind of gives a peace of mind and I could talk about this, as you know.
Speaker 2:You know we're transitioning to the adult care model and so that's a whole new set of things that we could talk about that forever, but it's just important Bottom line. I spoke so much, but it's just important to have that plan in place, just also for how you feel about all of the things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a million percent. And you mentioned transitioning to the adult care model, which is basically when you know she's growing up and she's going to be scheduling her appointments and she's going to be refilling her medications, and so it's important to start thinking about that well before it's actually time to do it. And hats off to you guys. You guys do a beautiful, beautiful job, guys. You guys do a beautiful, beautiful job. And so all of this kind of brings us to our next, which is how to prepare other people to take care of your child, and so one thing that y'all are going to start thinking about is when she goes to college and making sure that she has access to safe foods right, a lot of kids these days are required to purchase a meal plan and making sure there's safe options there and having a plan in place for how to communicate that to the school.
Speaker 1:I've definitely written letters and such for those types of situations. But things like camp, things like just going to school, having that emergency action plan as we've talked about a few times now, whether it's an anaphylaxis action plan for a kiddo with food allergy or an emergency action plan for FPIES or an accidental ingestion plan for kiddos with EOE Like what do you do if somebody else is taking care of your kiddos which happens all the time, right? I mean taking care of your kiddos, which happens all the time, right? I mean whether it's early child care or school or baseball or camp or whatever the case may be anyone who's responsible for your kiddo you want them to have a very clear plan on how to prevent, recognize and respond to an allergy emergency. What say you, pam?
Speaker 2:I learned very quickly that I needed to have all of my information in one place, and so it made it very easy. Every time I dropped off at camp or at school or with a family member is I had a letter from my allergist kind of stating. You know the situation because, especially early on, you know they may not want the epi on the child, they may want an adult to have it. I always wanted it on my child because it's on my child.
Speaker 2:You know exactly where it is, and so I just had a letter where he would you know explain the situation and explain that he was comfortable with that. I had pictures.
Speaker 1:Epinephrinerine. Your child's emergency medication should always be immediately accessible to your child. Should not be locked. Should be in a secure location if not actually on their person.
Speaker 2:Should be immediately accessible always, and in louisiana there are laws for that. Yes, in both states.
Speaker 1:There are laws Now do all schools recognize realize? It never ceases to surprise me these days, despite the laws on the books, sometimes some schools non-school entities are still just not where they need to be regarding being up to date. And sometimes it comes to having to have discussions with that entity's attorneys to get the language changed and for them to then realize, oh, it's actually a liability if I don't change our current outdated policy. And then, once they realize that it's much smoother and they're actually usually pretty grateful to the family for bringing it to their attention.
Speaker 2:Anyway, there's a tangent no, I think it's important because I think that's part of sort of like my toolkit is that I was always armed with what I knew our rights were. And so when it came to school, so before we got to school, I always had pictures, because I had pictures of what she looked like, with a reaction as scary as that is, and so I would say, look, these are some. It's not always going to look this way, but if you see this on her face, you know that could be a sign. And so I had pictures, I had the letter, I had the emergency action plan, I had her life-saving medication, I had the emergency action plan, I had her life-saving medication, um, and I was armed with the laws and with my rights.
Speaker 2:Um, because I did a few times um, run into school situations where, um, they weren't up to date and I was up to date and there were discussions there to make sure that they knew that. I knew my pig could have her, you know, her epinephrine on her person and it didn't need to be locked away. And because I knew my rights and her rights, um, it was always an easy conversation. I mean, obviously there was some back and forth, but I think that's also. Another great tip is that you don't always need to be on the defensive, because sometimes, when we're on the defensive.
Speaker 2:Our emotions can get the best of us. And you can't really have productive conversations with people that you want to take care of your child. I'm not saying, don't be emotional. It's an emotional topic and we'll touch on it in a second. An emotional topic and we'll touch on it in a second.
Speaker 2:But if you're armed with the information, if you're armed with her medication, if you're armed with a good plan, then you're giving that and you're, you're taking hold of that power and you're armed and you know what to do, and it can just be a simple conversation hey, listen, if you need to do your research, that's fine, but this is how you take care of my child.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And this is, you know how to keep her safe, because a safe kid is better than a kid that you have to call an ambulance for.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And at that point, when you have all of that lined up, you have objective information that you are passing along. This isn't just you saying, oh hey, can we talk about this? And not having anything from your doctor, not having anything, you not coming to the table, understanding the your rights, your child's rights. So absolutely, oh my God, and you're you're a master at that of you know the squeaky wheel gets the grease right. So we don't ever want to like fade into the background and just assume a school is doing everything correctly, even if you know other great allergy families that go to the school. And you assume a school is doing everything correctly, even if you know other great allergy families that go to the school and you're like, well, they go there and I'm, I guess this plan is okay because they go there, Right, never assume any of that. It's different.
Speaker 2:For everybody and like when it comes to like camps and schools. We always provided safe snacks for her because it made her feel comfortable. We never made it and I think this is important, parents we never made it as if she was different. So she got to sit with her friends and have a snack and she usually had like a buddy that ate next to her that we knew weren't wasn't going to eat something she didn't have, but we never wanted to isolate her, because it's not her fault that she has an allergy.
Speaker 2:She was going this way, and it can sometimes seem as a punishment whenever that child is excluded. Now, did she have times where she was sad because the whole class got donuts and I didn't get a phone call early enough to provide her with something safe that she could have? Sure, but did we talk about it? Did we then, you know, have something special for her? Yes, so I think it's just a matter of having a good communication channel with whoever is taking care of your child.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have a conversation with my five-year-old now about you know cause. She'll say like, well, that's not fair, mommy, about whatever, whatever the case may be, I say, well, you know, life is not fair and sometimes that works in your favor and sometimes it doesn't. But life is not fair and how we respond to it is is our responsibility and we can't blame others for how we're responding. Now, that's not to say it's not incredibly frustrating when, especially a school, it just feels like you have to fight tooth and nail to get what you know is right for your child. It is very frustrating and, as you alluded to, we're about to come to our number one. But having those plans in place where you are saying to others this is how you prevent a reaction in my child, these are foods that are safe, these are foods that are not safe. Whether it's EOE, f-pies, anaphylactam, whatever, the type of adverse reaction to a food is that it is powerful to provide others with a plan for what to do.
Speaker 1:And, honestly, as a mom, like when I'm watching other kids, like I want to know, like I want to know that you know, and I've been really, I've been really um, um happy like on the group and stuff with the class, moms and like all of this. Most moms are very supportive. Yes, there's always going to be a bad apple where it's like well, my kid really likes peanut butter. Why can't we have peanut butter, you know like? But for the most part, most I have found that most families are supportive because we all, we all just want our kids to be included, right, we don't, we, I know, I like, I can. Just, it just breaks my heart whenever my daughter or my son can't be like, can't be included or wouldn't be included for something you know like. That would just make me so sad and I would never want another family to feel that way and I think most people are like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think to add to that, when you come with the information to them, to whoever it may be, at a birthday party or whatnot, and they realize how serious that oh, look at all this information, this is serious Then they take it seriously and then they become more helpful. You know, you kind of brush it off as, oh, it's okay, you know she'll figure it out, or you know whatever, just as long as she doesn't eat it.
Speaker 2:or you know, I think, when you come armed because there are those people you know, we I've had many conversations with school nurses that will say you know, I have a form here and it says they have XYZ allergy, but they don't have an epi and it's because they were never taught, or I mean, there's obviously or like oh, my kiddos only had hives with with need an epi pen.
Speaker 1:Like that is not true, that is inaccurate, so they need to be in with a board certified.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so you know. But when you sort of with any it's not just food allergies, but with any situation, when you sort of are a little lackadaisical about it, I don't know if I said that right, but then other people will be as well. You know, if you come armed it's not to scare them, because I can tell you, or like oh, I'm scared, I'm not. I'm not telling you this to scare you, I'm telling you this?
Speaker 2:because this is a fact and these things could happen and I need you to know, if they do happen, how to take care of them. And that's it, that's what.
Speaker 1:I'm doing. Right, I, I try to work with families, my whole team. We try to work with families to teach families to respect the allergen, not to fear it.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And so when we project that respect for it, spirit right, and so when we project that respect for it, I think other people recognize it. And to your point, you, you said something about oh, she just can't be around it, like when, when somebody's saying like, oh well, she can be around it or can't be around it, whatever the case may be and you talked about earlier about transitioning to the adult care model just because you know that she can't, like she could be around peanut butter, and you know that and she knows that right. But like, if you're at a party, do you really want to be around something that when you smell it it really makes you feel really queasy, like you know, like no, and so so when, when our kiddos are younger and they can't make the, the conscious decision of like, okay, well, I'm allergic, I can't eat this, we have to put very, um, very strict safety rails, guard rails, in place to keep that child safe. Because that child if, if, if they're sitting next to a little kiddo, a two-year-old, they're sitting next to another little two-year-old who's just like chowing down on reese's peanut butter cups, and that little kiddo has a peanut allergy, you know, then of course, the little kiddo is just going to want to try to eat it or they might, you know, play, feed each other, blah, blah, blah, like we have to put safety rails in place. But as they get older, it's important that we teach kiddos what is safe, what is not safe, so that then they can make those decisions.
Speaker 1:But then also, I had a conversation recently about just because of food, just because she can be around a food, doesn't mean she wants to be around it, right. It doesn't mean, like, she has to sit in a assigned seat in the cafeteria when people on either side of her are eating her allergen, just because she's in fifth grade, seventh grade, whatever the case may be, and you're right, it being around her is not going to cause anaphylaxis, it's not going to kill her, right, but that doesn't mean she should have to be around it, right. These are the nuances that come with discussions with your allergist, with having a plan in place and that, particularly FYI, would go into an individualized health care plan. We won't get into like 504s and individualized health care plans and all that stuff, but there's lots of plans that you want to talk with your allergist about and all the planning is important.
Speaker 1:Yeah, about and so, and all the planning is important, but that brings us to our number one Mental health. Mental health, um, you as a mom, have just heard a diagnosis, a new diagnosis for your child. I have heard it said many times that, um, this was not the life you expected for your child, and it's important to just take time and recognize that and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a. It's not a fun. I mean anything that changes sort of the trajectory of how you envision your life, right, it's not fun. But being told that your kid could die from a food, it's pretty mind-boggling and it takes a minute. You kind of have to mourn sort of the ease that was the day before, right the day before you were, you know, buying M&Ms and not thinking twice about popping them in your mouth. Or my husband used to have peanut butter jelly time while we were watching shows and our daughter was in between us just kind of munching on her little snacks and and the next day you give her peanut butter jelly time and your role changes and that's so scary and no one ever wants to go through life thinking that your child can get harmed. And so when it becomes a reality, over food that's supposed to nourish them, it's there really are no words. I mean there. It's so hard to describe that and, at least for me.
Speaker 2:I went through a mourning period. I handle my emotions differently Depending on situations. I had to wrap my brain around it and the way that I did that was bombarding myself with information, which is good and bad, but overall you just have to realize that it's okay. It is okay and I know this now and I can talk about my child's first reaction and not shed tears, and I can think about her future and not spiral. But it took a bit to get there right, like it took some time to arm ourselves with the tools, arm her with the tools, especially now you know almost 16, to know that it's going to be okay. Life just looks a little different and we have to make more concessions. When we go out of town, we have to make sure that there's safe places for her and places where she feels comfortable. Um, arming our families with all of the information. Luckily, again, we were very blessed that our families were on board. Not every family is like that, and so there are so many nuances of things that you have to mentally prepare yourself for and listen. Sometimes we can handle that on our own and sometimes we can't, and we need to seek out other resources to help us handle those, whether it's your allergist or mental health professional or just, you know, self-help books, whatever it may be be, it's okay. It is okay.
Speaker 2:It is okay to be sad that your child has something that you have zero control of. It is okay to be angry. I was angry for the longest time, um, because, again, it's not the life that you envisioned. But I will tell you, 13 years out, um, our life was amazing. Her life is amazing, um.
Speaker 2:Has she been through really hard times in this journey? Absolutely. Will she continue to maybe be presented with challenges? Sure, but we feel that we have done our best to never make her feel less than and to never make her feel scared. And those times where she did feel scared, um, we figured out how to make it okay and to validate those things and to provide her with the tools to get her to the other side, um, and that's all you can really do. That's all you really do, because if you try to box those feelings up, they just get worse and then you spiral.
Speaker 2:And I mean, my child is leaving for college in two years and the idea that she's going to have a lot of firsts without us and she will be responsible for her own food and her own medication, and late nights, you know, like all of those things, um is scary and I've been thinking about them for years. And so now, being so close to it, having all of the the tools and the information and the new therapies and medicines that we can do. We're transitioning to this. Okay, college is supposed to be fun and educational and not scary. How are we going to make that happen? But it took work, y'all. It took work to get there and that's okay, like it is so. Okay, I could talk about this forever. You know that.
Speaker 1:So talk about it so beautifully, pam, and you said something that I really want to camp on for just a minute as we wrap up the show is. You talked about feelings being valid. Yeah, and I have so many moms. When they bring their kiddos to see me, they'll say something along the lines of maybe I'm overreacting. They'll say something along the lines of maybe I'm overreacting and 99.99,.
Speaker 1:Actually, I can't think of a time where a parent was, in my opinion, overreacting. I think they were responding appropriately or how they were feeling or the plans they were trying to put in place. They we sometimes think like oh well, I'm overdoing it here. Like it is our job, at the end of the day, to take care of these children, like God entrusted our children to us. I firmly believe that and it is my job as a mom to keep that child safe and help that child grow and ultimately serve God and contribute to the community. And and when you get a diagnosis thrown at you, you're like wait a second, I'm I'm already like trying to be the best mom possible, and now this like what? And trying to keep your child safe. You know that it's hard enough. It's hard enough, but then you add a diagnosis to it, oh my God. So taking a moment to feel like okay, my feelings are valid.
Speaker 2:We're going to get through this. But, yes, this is a time they feel like they're overreacting. I can firmly look back on the last 13 years and you know see places where maybe my safety nets were a little higher because I was, you know, in the trenches and learning and it was on you.
Speaker 1:I don't forget any of it.
Speaker 2:And if you thought I was overreacting, that's a you problem, not a me problem. I was keeping my kids safe and I had, I would not change a thing. I would not change a thing. And so moms and dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever is a caretaker of a kiddo with a food allergy for the first time it does not matter what other people think your reaction is or how they feel your reaction should be. It's your reaction. You deal with it the way you can and you put safety walls anywhere you can and be okay with that. It is okay.
Speaker 1:Preach, sister Preach. And now our listeners, these new mamas. Hi, new mom. Now have plans, outline of what you need.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Very helpful.
Speaker 2:I think it's just what every, just a simple thing is to try to make sure that, um, just the simple things. To try to make sure that something that is scary I don't want to say it could be scary, it is scary, isn't?
Speaker 1:dictating how you live your life. Right, you were putting the plans in place. Sometimes plans need to change, but you have the power to put the plans in place. Oh, I love it, pam. Thanks so much, of course, for coming on the show. I know you haven't been on in a while, so I'm so happy that you were able to join today. I thought this was the perfect episode for you to come on, so, thank you. Thanks so much for tuning in. Remember I'm an allergist, but I'm not your allergist, so talk with your allergist about what you learned today. Like subscribe, share this with your friends and go to foodallergyandyourkiddocom where you can join our newsletter. God bless you and God bless your family.